Roger joined the Casuals in the clubs second season and his fitness, attitude and electric pace made him a valuable addition to the team. He also had an impressive footballing pedigree and was Gary Speed's roommate when they both represented Deeside Schools in the 1980's.

 

But despite his obvious talents on the field he is probably best remembered for his erratic behaviour off it. An extremely likeable but highly excitable lad, Rog lost the plot a little whenever he mixed beer and women.

 

A point well demonstrated by his actions on the alcohol fuelled club holidays in the mid-nineties. Whilst in Magaluf he convinced himself he could survive a leap from a third floor balcony with "a parachute roll" and wandered round the pool chatting to just about everyone whether they liked it or not. He also made his famous "Hailey - I love yer! I wanna marry yer!" video message to a disinterested bird at home.

 

This theme continued in Gran Canaria in 1996 when he sent Lois (another bird he fell in love with that had a long term boyfriend) flowers on her birthday. Love to know how they were received.

Despite all this Rog was a model of consistency on the pitch and was deservedly voted Player of the Year in 1997/98.

 

He spent 18 months living rent free at Phil Malcolm's sh!thole flat in Uxbridge, during which time he found God (what a strange place for the almighty to hide).

 

However his new no sex before marriage vow hardly affected his love life as he had never enjoyed much luck with the ladies.

 

He made 11 appearances in the Casuals' 1998/99 title winning season before breaking his leg in an away match against Feltham Town in February when the ambulance memorably pulled up alongside the pitch and carted him off with the game still in progress.

 

On his final tour appearance in May 2000 he drew a huge blue moustache on his face with marker pen and then bought three space hoppers at a service station using the power of mime having bet Pilch he could last the entire journey home maintaining a sponsored silence.

 

Rog's final Casuals appearance came in November 2001 by which time he was a regular Church goer. Now gives up a lot of his time doing charity work in particular for the Hand of Help Orphanage in Botosani in Romania.

 

An undoubted Casuals Legend.

Debut: Oct 1992 v Barron Rovers in West End Sunday League Division C. Casuals won 8-1 with goals from Michael Rootes (4), Huw Thomas (2), Micky Roache and Martin Rootes.

Nickname: The Phallus, Rod the Rod

Birthplace: Flint

Date of Birth: 01/11/68

Resides: Streatham Vale (the posh part - like a blond hair on cack)

Occupation: Retired land broker

Preferred Position: In the air

How did you come to join the Casuals: Fat keeper Gazza Ward brought me to the Lord Malcolm.

Why did you leave: Broke both legs, 7 ribs and fractured my skull going for a header. (This is a 'joke' - Ed)

Who else did you introduce to the club: God

Highlight of Casuals Career: Laying on three goals for much-maligned club hero Phil Malcolm.

Lowlight of Casuals career: Receiving 'the best punch' Smithy's ever seen! (v Mastercare FC in 1996)

Most Embarrassing Moment: Rather not say

Best Casuals manager you played under: Obviously the demi-God Lord Malcolm

Worst player you played alongside: Dom Bourke but we loved him anyway

Funniest player: Michael Rootes although he's not as funny as my mate Neil

Favourite match: When we beat Maccabi 5-0 in 1996 and I took out their best player in the 1^st minute.

Worst match: The one where I nearly hit Geraint when I should have hit Graham Nash

Most memorable Casuals goal you scored: I forget them all - I prefer helping others score on and off the pitch.

Funniest thing you have seen during a game: 'Mad Dog' Phil Malcolm's goal celebration in the 1993 cup final - he bounded about like a two-legged rabbit with myxomatosis.

Funniest thing you have seen on a Casuals night out: Photographic evidence of me kissing a girl even before my nemesis Dave Houlker spent all holiday snail-pacedly persuing her - sweet!

Favourite Bridgend tour memory: A 12 inch turd on Nick Markham's Mercedes Shit-class.

Are you still playing: No, but Bruce Willis kept coming back

So what do you do now: I now spend my Sat mornings learning more about the true God - after foolishly following the Lord Malcolm for years.

How would you like to be remembered: Passing on girls to better players

Best thing about being a Casual: You're never in danger of being the crappest player in the team (only jokin!). The best thing was people displaying their enormous love and respect for you in the only way they could - ripping the piss out of you in and out of the dressing room!

Message to the current team: If you don't have a pint after the match then expect to be mentioned in the post-match post-mortem - your soul will be the first thing to be removed by the incisors.