Debut: Some time in September 1991 (or whenever the club's first ever league game was).

 

Preferred Position:  Anywhere at the back where I don't have to run too far or kick the ball with my right foot.

 

Nickname:  I seem to recall there were several, few of them complimentary!

 

Birthplace/Date of Birth:  Pembury near Tunbridge Wells, Kent, 9 December 1965.

 

Resides:  Potters Bar, Herts.       

 

Occupation:  I'm a Commercial Manager for the Ministry of Defence (sounds better than just "civil servant").

 

You were one of the Westminster Casuals' founder members. How did you get involved?  I was asked along to the first club pre-season friendly by Alex Aiken.  The then Player Manager Malcolm spotted my amazing talent and signed me straight after that game for a then record Casuals transfer fee of a pint of lager and a packet of crisps.

 

Who else did you introduce to the club:  Probably Tony Almond and Ertan ("Vinny") Djemal were the most notable, but there were several others at various times.  One of the best was Jamie Munday, but he never quite recovered from the sight of Phil Malcolm and Roger Phillips in the dressing room before a "friendly" with Hedsor, saluting and baying like they were at a Nuremburg Rally.  I'm not sure he saw the funny side of it.....!

 

You were the clubs first captain and played 20 games in the clubs debut season back in 1991/92. What are your memories of those halcyon days when the club played its home games in Regents Park on Sunday afternoons.  Ah, that beautiful fluorescent green and white strip with the diamonds.  God, we must have looked like fashion icons.

 

Despite frontman Huw Thomas scoring an amazing 32 goals in just 20 games in the clubs first season, centre back Tony Almond was elected Player of the Year. Was this somewhat surprising award the result of a defenders conspiracy?  Ah, now the conspiracy theory.  I hate to debunk a good myth, but it would have been mathematically impossible for the Defenders Union to fix the vote on its own anyway - there weren't enough of us!

 

Did you consider it fair when Alex Aiken was thrown out of the club by Phil Malcolm as a result of an on field spat in the Summer of 1992?  I only vaguely remember it.  Both Phil and Alex usually have a few words to say about most things.  You'd have to ask them about that one.

 

Sadly the Casuals never won any silverware in your five seasons with the club. The closest you ever came to a winners medal was the 1993 Cup Final against Rangers Inter - should we have won that day?  Maybe there's something significant in that!  I think we were unlucky not to at least take the game into extra time - they were a good side, but we had plenty of chances of our own that day and were perhaps just let down a bit by our finishing.  I remember the ref played about eight minutes of added time, because most of their players seemed to spend the second half taking turns feigning injury to run the clock down - at times it looked like a battle zone with all the bodies lying around.  

 

Any truth in the story that on the 1994 club holiday to Magaluf you were told by a bird after spending about a week together "you can kiss me, you know".  No truth at all - firstly, it was one night not a week, and secondly, no one told me you were allowed to go that far on a first date.  I thought we were only up to the poetry recital stage, but she obviously had other ideas.....

Talk us through your only Casuals goal on 7^th January 1995 in a 5-4 win over Ealing Old Boys. Huwey scored a hat-trick and Phil got the other.  I don't remember much.  The ball came across from the right and I hit it first time left footed (well, it wouldn't be the right foot, would it ?!) from the edge of the box, straight into the bottom right corner.  The keeper never even moved - I think he was even more shocked than I was!  

 

According to club legend you were once outpaced by a Harrow St Mary's player who had just broken his leg. If pace wasn't the strongest element of your game, what was?  Here's another one that belongs firmly in the Editor's Book of Mythology.  (Anyway, he was bloody fast for a bloke with one leg).  If not my electric pace, then perhaps my fearsome tackling, limpet-like marking, exquisite distribution skills or awesome power in the air.  Pick any of the above, really.

 

You were known as Nicey due to your friendly disposition. Can you be too nice?  You can never be too nice.

 

Highlight of Casuals Career:  There were too many of those to single one out.

 

Lowlight of Casuals career:  How could there be any of those, playing with such a great bunch of guys?!

 

Worst player you played alongside:  One of the great advantages of being so nice is that you can politely decline to answer these sort of questions!

 

Favourite match:  There are just too many to choose from.

 

Worst match:  I was never that pleased when we lost, but no one game really stands out - though I remember once being pulled off at half time by Manager Malcolm, and him asking what was wrong with me.  I seem to recall the problem was that I was still pissed from the night before, and hence seeing the ball (and pretty much everything else) double.   

 

Funniest thing you have seen during a game:  It has to be Phil Malcolm's legendary "Dying Swan" goal celebration after scoring the equalizer during the 1993 Cup Final against Rangers Inter.  Poetry in motion - just priceless.  Closely followed by the game where Phil was running away from a Barron Rovers player to try to avoid getting sent off for fighting.  And failed.

 

Funniest thing you have seen on a Casuals night out:  Coming across Phil and Vinny Djemal in formation pissing under the door of a cubicle in the gents where some poor sod had gone for a quiet shit, then seeing the look on their faces when they realized that it wasn't me as they'd thought, but some complete stranger that was now paddling in effluent.....

 

Favourite Bridgend tour memory:  Me, Tony Almond and Vinny getting a monumental bollocking from (a then very young) Michael Rootes after turning up for the kick off of the Saturday game at Bridgend Town fresh from the hotel and then the clubhouse bars.  Said Michael then refusing to speak to us for the rest of the weekend.  To be fair, the fact that me'n Vinny had a bit of a nightmare in the run up to Bridgend's first goal probably didn't help improve our star player's disposition towards us.  

What did you really think of Phil Malcolm:  The tactical acumen of Alex Ferguson, the motivational skills of Jose Mourinho....and the dancing of Fred Flintstone.

 

How do you feel about Steve Cates saying you are the worst player he has ever played with?  It's always good to make a lasting impression.  I guess it must be quite a few years ago now - but I don't even remember playing with him!

Why did you leave the Casuals in 1996:  There was a serious illness in the family, and it's probably true to say my mind wasn't really focused on football that season.

 

Having left the club you also took Tony Smith to your old school team Old Owens. How did it go?  Not strictly true - I'm pretty sure that it was Alex Aiken who actually recruited Smithy for Old Owens, but it wasn't me.  He played really well and scored quite a few goals as I recall - and he even remembered to track back occasionally!

 

Are you surprised the club is now in its 19^th season.  It's pretty impressive.  I don't know whether any of us who were around at the beginning necessarily thought the club would still be going strong nearly 20 years later, but it's really great to see.

 

Tell us something we don't know about you:  I'm not always as nice as I appear.

 

Best Advice Given:  Don't turn up straight from the bar and try to play football......

 

Are you still playing, if so, who for:  I was somewhat reluctantly persuaded out of retirement to play at MOD Sports Day in July, and promptly snapped my Achilles tendon.  So no sport or anything else very much for me for at least a year - AC Milan will have to wait.  

 

How would you like to be remembered:  I'm not dead yet.  Or does the Editor know something I don't...?!

 

Best thing about being a Casual:  The fact that guys you met and played with all those years ago are still giving you abuse more than 15 years later!

 

Message to the current team:  Don't let Phil Malcolm give you any dancing tips.